Funny Short Jokes Photos Pictures Images: Short Funny Jokes To Text

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Short Funny Jokes To Text

Short Funny Jokes To Text History

Source(google.com.pk)

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay the would be called bagels.

What do you call someone with three arms, two tongues, and five arms? A Liar!!

Ok, here's one:

there's a blonde and she has two horses. she calls her friend, and says, "Bob, I can't tell my horses apart, and I have to so I can feed them the right amount!" Bob says,"Ok, why don't you cut one of the horse's tail shorter than the other?" The blonde does, but it grows back. she tells this to bob and he says,"why don't you tie a ribion around one of their necks?" She does, but it comes off while they were playing. Bob finally tells her to measure both the horses. she does, and the next day, she calls Bob;

"Bob, Bob, it worked!!! the black horse is two inches taller than the white one!!"

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

the word smiles because there is a mile between each s.

There is a teacher that asks "there are 5 birds on a power line, you shoot one how many are left?" a kid raises his hand and says "none, because all the rest would fly away." she replies "that's not the answer i was looking for, but i like the way you are thinking." the kid says "now i have a question for you; there are three girls with an ice cream cone each one is biting it, sucking it, and one is licking it; how do you know which one is married?" the teacher replies in a stuttering voice, "the one sucking...?" he says "...the answer is the one wearing a ring, that's not the answer i was looking for but i like the way your thinking." =P

Nice ones. I have some I heard in school!

There were 3 boys. One with a hammer, one with a knife, and one with a bomb. The first one got on a plane and accidentally dropped his hammer out of the window. He got off and saw a little boy crying. He asked," Little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" "A hammer fell on my father and now he is unconscious!"

The second one got on a plane and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. He saw a little girl crying. He asked the little girl," Little girl, little girl, why are you crying? "A knife fell on my mother and now she's dead!"

So then the last one gets on a plane. He accidentally dropped his bomb out of the window. He gets off and sees a little boy laughing. He asks the little boy," Little boy, little boy, why are you laughing? "Because my grandmother farted and it blew up the house!"

2 men walked into a bar. The first one betted that he could jump from the 20th floor and land safely on the first floor. The other one said," You're on!" So he jumped down and landed on the first floor safely and unharmed. The other one

Asked him," How did you do that?" "With my magic beer!" So the guy ordered one and jumped, fell, and died. Then the bartender said, "You know, superman, you're really mean when you're drunk!"

There were 3 boys and a tower with 100 steps. Each step has a joke on it. The first one climbed up 20 steps then laughed. The next one climbed up 50 steps then laughed. The last one climbed up 99 steps then laughed. The other two asked," Why did you laugh? You were so close!" Then he said," Because I just got the first joke! sorry their big, I wrote them down, copied it, and it was bigger.