Funny Short Jokes Photos Pictures Images: Free Funny Short Jokes

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Free Funny Short Jokes

Free Funny Short Jokes History

Source(google.com.pk)

A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical:

- Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100?

- That depends," says the doctor. Do you smoke?

- No

- Do you drink?

- No

- Do you fool around with loose women?

- Of course not

- Well, then, why the hell do you want to live for another 40 years?

- Doctor, I ate pizza with the expired date of consumption, what'll happen to me, am I gonna die?

- Well everyone is going to die some day, you know....

- Oh my God! What have I done? Now we're all gonna die!

- Honey, both that journalist and the engineer proposed to our daughter!

- So who's the lucky man?

- The engineer. Our daughter married the journalist

- Hey girl, did anyone tell you that you look like Marilyn Monroe?

- Noooooooo!!!!

- That's right! 'cause you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger

- Bobby, would you like to go to heaven?

- Yes Miss, but I really need to be going home after the classes

A blonde with bandaged arm and foot meets her friend.

- What happened to you?

- I was using a vacuum cleaner and it hit me in the arm

- But why is your foot bandaged?

- I kicked it back!

A girl goes to see Doctor Jones. The doctor examines her and notices that she has a rash on her chest. As Dr. Jones examines the rash, he notices that the rash is in the shape of an "H". To his wonder, the girl tells him, "My boyfriend goes to Harvard and...

Patient: I think I'm spending too long on the computer, I'm starting to get spots in front of my eyes.

Doctor: Have you seen an optician?

Patient: No, just spots.

Doctor: Will the father be present during the delivery?

Mother-to-be: Nah, he and my husband don't get along!

Question: What does Dumbo do after taking a photocopy?

Answer: He compares it with the original document for spelling mistakes!

Hope makes all things work...

Love makes all things beautiful...

And, Smile makes all the above...

...So always BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

Robber: Give me your money.