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Friday, 12 July 2013

short and funny jokes

Short And Funny Jokes History

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Timothy Mark Vine (born 4 March 1967) is an English writer, actor, comedian and presenter known for his role on the BBC series Not Going Out until his departure in 2012. He has released a number of DVDs of his stand-up comedy and has written several joke books. In 2010, Vine won the award for best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and was awarded second in 2011 and 2012. He was a finalist in the 2013 series of Let's Dance for Comic Relief.

He attended the public school Epsom College with his brother Jeremy Vine.

His stand-up act consists primarily of a series of quick-fire one-liners and puns. Vine has appeared regularly at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, with shows such as The Tim Vine Shambles and The Tim Vine Fiasco which won him the Perrier newcomer award in 1995. In 2006, he had a large advertising hoarding erected featuring his name and image, with a small sub-heading "...is not appearing at this year's Edinburgh Festival"Vine appeared at the Pleasance Courtyard for the first two weeks of the 2008 Edinburgh Festival Fringe performing a show entitled Punslinger.

He appeared at the Spring Harvest festival in 2007, 2008 and 2013 alongside John Archer at Skegness and Minehead, and at the Cambridge Theatre in May 2007 for a show entitled Tim Vine, Live in Concrete.

He has taken his comedy act on a tour of the United Kingdom, in tours such as Current Puns in 2006 and Punslinger in 2008. In July 2008, he recorded a performance at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London, which was released as a new DVD entitled So I Said To This Bloke... on 27 October 2008. His third tour, The Joke-amotive, took place during February and March 2010, with a DVD of the show released in November 2011.

Many of his jokes have been falsely attributed to Tommy Cooper;the West End show about Tommy Cooper actually features some of Vine's jokes.

World record

On 7 October 2004, he broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362. Each joke told had to get a laugh from the paying audience to count towards the record. He held the record until May 2005, when Australian comedian, Anthony "Lehmo" Lehmann told 549 jokes.

Theatre

In December 2010, Vine starred in the Richmond production of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs

In December 2012, Vine starred in the Richmond production of Aladdin.

Television

Year Show Role Episodes

1997-98 Whittle Presenter All

2003 Fort Boyard Celebrity Participant

2004 Fort Boyard takes on the World Presenter

2001-04 The Sketch Show Actor All

2005 Spelling Bee Guest Appearance

2006-12 Not Going Out Actor Series 1-5

2007 Comic Relief Does Fame Academy Celebrity Participant Series 3

2007, 12 Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Celebrity Participant

2008 Celebrity Juice Panellist Series 1, Episode 4

2009 Celebrity Mastermind Celebrity Participant Series 6, Episode 5

Neighbours Guest Appearance

Live at the Apollo Himself Series 5, Episode 3

Celebrity Total Wipeout Participant Episode 1

2011 Argumental Panellist Series 4, Episode 7

2012 Don't Blow the Inheritance Presenter All

The Chase: Celebrity Special Celebrity Participant Series 2, Episode 6

Pointless Celebrities Celebrity Participant Series 3, Episode 6

2013 QI Panellist Series J, Episode 15

Let's Dance for Comic Relief Performer Series 5, Episodes 1 and final (3rd place)

Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask Guest Series 2, Episode 1

What's Cooking? Guest Series 1, Episode 6

Music

His musical talent, aside from the comedy songs in his act, includes playing the guitar, piano and drums.

He is a Christian and occasionally plays the drums at his church. He was in several bands, including The Flared Generation with brother Jeremy Vine.

Podcasts

In December 2007, he launched his first podcast, 'Tim Vine Celebrates'.The first episode "Tim Vine Celebrates... Christmas" was released free on 19 December and introduces many previously unheard jokes and humorous songs, as well as an array of comedy characters, mostly voiced by himself.

Fringe Awards

In August 2010, he won the prize for the funniest joke of that year's Edinburgh Fringe, following a public vote from a judged shortlist. His winning joke was "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

On 25 August 2011, he won the prize for the second funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe festival. His joke was "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels." He was beaten by Nick Helm (returning to the Fringe for only the second time). Again, Vine came second, beaten by Stewart Francis in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2012 with the joke "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly."

Personal life [

He is the younger brother of Jeremy Vine, author, journalist and BBC Radio 2 presenter. He is a Christian. He is a supporter of Sutton United F.C., stating the first game he attended was an FA Cup 3rd round tie in the 1987/88 season against Middlesbrough F.C. Vine is also a keen darts fan, having attended several Professional Darts Corporation tournaments along with Lee Mack. Some of these were televised, such as the 2011 World Championships when both Vine and Mack appeared in the crowd, live on Sky Sports. He also plays darts in his spare time. Tim is regularly supported on Theatre tours by his good friend John Archer, who also writes with him for certain TV projects. Vine is single.

Books

In 2003, Vine contributed to the Sit-Down Comedy book, but his first book was released in 2010 entitled The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book containing over 1,000 jokes and puns. Then in 2011 Vine released a second joke book entitled The Not Quite Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book, specifically for children.