Funny Short Jokes Photos Pictures Images: Good Short Jokes

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Good Short Jokes

Good Short Jokes History

Source(google.com.pk)

Lady : Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.

Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

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A drunkard was brought to court.

Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.

The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."

The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

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Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?

Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

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Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?

Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?

Customer:No, I can't.

Waiter:Then does it really matter?

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Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,

"Daddy!Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"

"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.

"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."

"Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."

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Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.

Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

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Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.

Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.

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Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

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Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.

Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

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Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?

Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

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1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

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Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me.

Man : How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born.

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Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.

Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.

'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'

'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.

'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

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Girl : Do you love me?

Boy:Yes Dear.

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy :No, mine is undying love.

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There was a brilliant student and his General Knowledge (*GK*) was excellent.

He won every GK Quiz he took part in ....

Then one day he fell in love with a girl...

He proposed the girl, but she flatly rejected him The poor Indian fellow was heart-broken. .

Strangely, after this episode, he became very weak at GK, he stopped taking part in GK Quizzes.....

Now, can u tell WHY ???

Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya Toh GK Kya Karenge!!

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Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband:Sure, what are my choices?

Wife :Yes and no.

Clare: I see you are invited to Lucy's party?

Sandra: Yeah but I can't go. The invitation says 4-7 and I'm eleven.

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Julia: That boy is getting on my nerves.

Jean: What nonsense -- he is not even looking at you!

Julia: That is what is getting on my nerves.

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Did you hear about the karate expert who joined the army? The first time

he saluted he nearly killed himself.

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Girl(standing in the middle of the road): Officer, how do you get to a hospital?

Officer: Just stay right where you are.

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Polly: Mummy, I got a 100 marks in school today.

Mummy: Splendid, what did you get a hundred for?

Polly: Two things -- 50 in English and 50 in Maths.

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Physics teacher: What is the difference between lightening and electricity?

Alexander: I know - You do not have to pay for it!!!!!

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Why did the Mexican man push his wife off the cliff for?

Tequila

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Two baby seals walk into a club [As in the seal clubbing sport]

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A Old Man and a Little Girl Walk into a Dark Forrest.

The Little girl says to the man "I'm really scared"

The Old Man then says "Your Telling Me, I have to walk back alone."

whats a gay bar without chairs?

a fruit stand!

Why was the strawberry late 4 work?

He was in a JAM

A man went to buy a maternity outfit and the worker asked him "what bust" and he said "The friggin condom".

how do you get an elephant in the fridge? open the door.

how do you get a giraffe in? take the elephant out.

haha. LAME. but kinda silly =)

Knock knock

who's there

impatients cow

impatient c-

MOOOOOO!

What do you get when you cross an alien and a duck?

A mutant

What do you call an elephant sandwich sandwich (yes sandwich is written twice, its supposed 2)?

Weird

What did the tree say to the floor?

Hello there! -it doesn't make sense so that is why its funny

What's up?

The ceiling(if your in a house)or the sky(if you are outside)