Funny Short Jokes Photos Pictures Images: Best Short Jokes

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Best Short Jokes

Best Short Jokes History

Source(google.com.pk)

In a club, there was some big fat bird dancing on that table.

As I walked past, I said great legs.

She said "really, thank you"

I said yeah, most tables would have collapsed by now.

A lady early in morning, rushed to visit her doctor. She was looking very much tensed and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....

A man goes to a bar and asks for a beer.

Waiter replies: Sure Sir, Its cost is one cent." "One Cent?"

the man exclaims. He glances at the menu and asks: How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?

A nickel, the barman replies.

"A nickel?" exclaims the man.

Where's the man who owns this place?

The bartender replies: "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asks: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replies: The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.

Did you hear about the new French tank?

Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.

Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?

A. They take the psycho path.

How did the farmer's wife get the chickens in to the pot?

She told them it was a chicken jacuzzi.

How do you let your wife know that she is putting on too much weight?

You give her a certificate with the title "NUTRITIONAL OVERACHIEVER"!

What kind of rooms have no walls?

Mushrooms.

Did you hear about the florist who had two kids?

One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.

I'd love to see things from your point of view..

But..

What?

But I can not seem to get my head that far up your ass.

The thing to laugh in this joke is some people's mind is not located in head. They always talk strange. So indirectly, he is making fun of his stupid unrelated suggestions. I know you too have that kind of person in your circle, so why not to use it.

What does is smell like to go down on a 75 year old woman?

Depends.

What a bad guy, for the age of 75 year old female, he still finds some chances! isn't it? Everyone else would have been said a big NO!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese!

How do you make a blonde go crazy?

Tell her to sit in the corner of a circular room!

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box?

"Omg, Donut seeds!"

A husband is a man who when someone tells him he is hen-pecked, answers, yes, but I am pecked by a good hen.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?

A. They don't have the guts.